2.04.12

Day 2

02.03.12

Sketched in ~ maybe I'll finish it up over the weekend

2.02.12

Commitment: The act of committing, pledging, or engaging oneself.

Commitment: consignment, as to prison.

It's funny how commitment can really play both roles, at the same time. I have committed to Create 365 in order to engage myself in the creative process everyday, in some capacity. The hope is that I'll do the work and hopefully continue to improve as the year goes on. And I'll tell you, it's hard, damn it. And that's where the "as to prison" comes in. Some nights it's pure joy and nights like tonight, well... it wasn't. I threw pencil, charcoal and watercolor all on the paper in my fit of frustration. However, I'm committed, so I kept working. It's got a lot of issues but I have to remind myself that it takes a lot of practice and some days are just going to suck......and that's ok. 

 I'm either committed or need to be committed ~ we'll see at the end of the year.

Through a loss comes lessons

1.29.12

Four years ago today my husband lost his battle with cancer. It's a day like any other day for me; I miss him. I'm a very private person, few people really know me. I won't say much about our nine month journey through cancer treatment, nor much about our last month together through hospice. But I will say that God was there. It is a very personal journey between you and God. I saw that with my husband in his final days. It was between him and God, it had nothing to do with me anymore.

  Four years have come and gone and I have realized that the heart, with time, heals, but I'm not sure if it will ever be completely whole. I have learned that life is about giving, giving back, paying it forward and teaching. It's also about realizing your gifts and using them, because God gave them to you for a reason. I've heard that throughout my life because I lost sight of it, but I am finding it again. I have always seen the world as a drawing or a photograph. I'm sure it sounds strange to some, but it's normal to me. I have made the commitment this year to work on the process everyday, in some capacity. Drawing, painting, a shoot or editing.  It takes work, practice and studying. I know that now. It only took about 30 years :) What I do with it, is up to God. For right now, it's just for me.

1.23.12

Not quite done, almost.

1.22.12

I've been working on nine illustrations for a childrens book, so I haven't had much time to work on anything else. Tonight, I put that project aside and sketched a bit. A nice break from the childrens book.

1.18.12

There is nothing worse than disecting your own face in a self portrait. But, it's important, so I'm working on it.